You Want Me to Do What?

execsThese job descriptions from a recruiting firm are so bloated with buzzwords and clichés that they made me laugh—until I realized they were written without irony. Seems our work will never end.

Chief Technical Officer
Define a prescient, robust and deft technology strategy for a public company with a decidedly entrepreneurial edge. You’ll assess what lies over the technological horizon and spearhead change as you assemble the human and physical assets that underpin every great technology company.

Regional Sales Manager
Mastermind sales strategies and apply a mix of field, corporate and third-party resources as you close significant deals for a global performance management solution provider.

Director, Project Management Office
Build and manage the Project Management Office Team as you take responsibility for the execution of the company’s project management activities, proposal process, and strategic direction of Client Services. Develop best practices in the management, scoping, planning, controlling, and fulfillment of all customer specific solution development and implementation projects.

Director of Engineering
Shape the company’s direction as you work across a spectrum of web and database technologies. Strike a delicate balance between the demands of a robust, end-to-end provisioning platform and an agile, solution-agnostic environment.

Marketing Manager
This is a strategic and analytical marketing role that will see you pull dozens of levers and collaborate on sophisticated and metricised initiatives.

Director, Business Development
Reach across a massive and flourishing industry as you prospect partnership opportunities. Working with the VP Business Development, you’ll pour over industry trends, define sales strategies and build high-level relationships.

Senior Manager, Partner Sales
Be the prime point of contact for partners and ensure the successful outcome of all partner related activity.