June '11 Writing Contest

March 9, 2011 By Jody Bruner With 4 comments

Rewrite the following paragraph to make it plain, concise and active. In case you’re wondering, it’s about employee benefit claims.

If experience results seem excessive or aberrant compared to historical information, detailed reports may be ordered so that an analysis of the claim components can be completed. We try to determine what is driving the claims in order to proact to potential problem areas. Component information may be detailed in a table or pie graph.

Either post your rewrite in the comments below, or send them directly to me at jody@brunerbiz.com.  Good luck!